what is this
pyramid blue
sacred bones of the milky whey
and then suddenly, you realize you’re bleeding
i have to admit that i have regrets
those boys i’ve lost
the boy in me lost
the algebra knocks loose the debris
there is no more spiritual bypassing
cypress beams and rafters of acacia dismantled
incense persists
beckons and bellows
what is this
pyramid blue
sacred bones of the milky whey
and then suddenly, you realize you’re bleeding
the Odyssey Overture
Such a sweet friend this song is! My new single, Odyssey Overture, is now available for download and streaming on all digital platforms!
The song was produced by Calvin Venus, and features some of my favorite artist from all over the Houston area!
Pete + Purdue
I think it all started back whenever MRYM and I were having a conversation (or argument) about the simplicity of modern art.
I’d commented at the time about how I believe that simple paintings like white squares, simples lines down the page, or splatters on the canvas were not proper demonstrations of talent. She was quick to correct my understanding of this.
Over the last couple of years, this idea has rolled around in my head, and I’ve wondered: “What does a “white square canvas” look like in terms of my own art.
Then enters Pete + Purdue.
Pete + Purdue is the latest album that I’ve produced that features simple sonic landscapes that can sit in the background while the rest of the world passes by. Performed by the pianist duo, Pete + Purdue is a news story, a path, inside the same universe as TIE.
The latest release is now available on all streaming and download platforms!
Stay tuned for more from Pete + Purdue!
Removed and Replaced Tiles
Throughout my time, I’ve encountered many compelling images that have transfixed my gaze, and taken me into the worlds that I’ve often spoken about in the songs.
Since 2019 a support pillar of the dividing wall between my living room and the kitchen has been home to the image that accompanies this entry. Recently it was removed and replaced by new imagery.
Previously whenever glyph-like structures like these would appear in TIE, I would have recorded them, and obsessed over them relentlessly—analyzing them for their meaning—wondering why these images would come together the way they have: like pieces of a puzzle.
I believe that this is probably the third time that this type of thing has happened. Each iteration is less impactful than it was before but no less meaningful or important to my practice.
As I removed these images from the wall to prepare the room for the next, I thought it was time to preserve them digitally so that I can remember where the artist was in 2019:
“After the destruction of the vessel, an evacuation was necessary. The course was charted to a nearby planet mistaken for the earth. Upon crash landing, I would meet new friends at the Venusian landscape that would incubate the song, preserve my dreams, and help me restore my vessel unto it’s newly resurrected mission”.
For more on the tiles of times past, see the following images:
New Logo
I think it’s time to talk about the new logo;
In 2013, whenever I release Aquarian Floods & Campaign One; I didn’t realize that I would be creating a logo out the handwriting that I quickly wrote out while working on a Saturday. Release after release, it would prove to become the standard presentation of my pseudonym.
In 2017, after releasing the Words & Music it was it was sealed into the canon of my work. I started printing shirts, sticker, and other merch all including the handwritten logo.
However, with the turn of this year, I believe the time has come to change. After a few months of deliberation, the new logo is as follows:
I believe that it pays homage to the first iteration of TIE, back whenever I was using standard templates on Blogspot. Speaking of TIE, there will also be more use of the acronym in my marketing.
I think it’s fair to say that this marks the beginning of something new—2022 has so much in store musically and artistically.
In other news, I got these fighting chickens to hang in my kitchen, and I’m quite proud of myself.
Space Illusions & Fiddle Leaf Records
I dreamed of strange and worrisome things.
Fallen leaves from my fiddle leaf fig. I collected them in a specialized tray that held them on their sides. Large green leaves with brown stacked and aligned like plates in a drying rack after a wash. As the leaves would fall I would collect them; they each resonated some sort of task—some sort of right of passage—some sort of measurement of detail needed, so they could be referenced or sourced via some machine or arm like on a record player or in a hard drive.
The the cast would change, and it’s as though it’s hours later in reality; I’m in a new space.
It’s really space. The same space you would see in science textbooks in the ’90s. It would show you classic images from the Voyager II mission: images of renown. I was floating or was I suspended: held and cradled in the hands of a feminine creator, like a mother. I saw Neptune in its classic image, and I swatted at it with my hand. It made the same sound as a Voit playground ball would as it was kicked across the field. I watched as it dangled back and forth, its stillness violently interrupted as it’s tiny moons quickly orbited the cerulean sphere.
I saw men as they traversed through space. It revealed the blackness of space like the dark water of an 8 ball. The astronauts would seem to emerge from the darkness like that of the blue polygon revealing the answer to your questions. I was able to reach and grab the astronaut as he tumbles through space. My reaching revealed him to a figurine or a model of dense foam slightly bigger than two feet.
I was filled will fear—I was filled with a complex bewildered shame of what I’d seen and touched. Then in my anticipation, I saw from the bottom of my vision a rising monochromatic red Jupiter. I feared what I would learn of it.
when the music comes
Sometimes when the music comes, it brings its friends
Hospitality is one of my strong suites when someone comes over
We’d didn’t do much of that whenever I was growing up.
Maybe not because we wouldn’t
But because people didn’t come around.
These self organizing colonies
Their structures
Their complementing elements.
Are they alive?
“… I don’t know anymore”
Hatching Coordinates
When the music comes, it is an unstoppable force. Nothing controls the muse as it demands its passing. The years of 2015 and 2016 were creatively vibrant. It was the closing of my synthetic exploration with my EP, Bulbs, and it was opening season for what would become my most successful release, That You Are Mindful of Him, and my brand establishing compilation, Words & Music.
During that time I was bombarded with a shower of songs that came to me in dreams. I would wake up in the middle of the night to document what I could, then go back to sleep. This is something that most songwriters often experience. I never let go of those songs. Something was special about them.
At the time I was single, sober, and had become quite the religious zealot. All three of these features would break down and would have to be reestablished and adjusted. Fast forward some four to five years later and here I am: on the verge of my next compilation, single, sober, and striving to be as authentic in my faith as possible. Then, comes “Coordinates”: one of the songs from my dreams.
I’d teamed up with Kelly Zwern in early 2019, and we started writing music together. Initially, it was pressing on my heart that she collaborate with me on “Coordinate”. I was scared because it was “my precious” (like they all do). She became an informant as I continued to sit on the egg.
Last night the song hatched. A word from a friend via text message would cause the first crack, and before I knew it the structure, the lyrics, the tone were all present.
And that’s how it happens. You lay an egg, and you never know how long, or if it will ever hatch. But when it does, you’re covered in fluids, the hormones rush, and you’re in love.
The Paperboy
The Paperboy by Lee Daniels is one of the darkest movies I’ve ever seen. It’s also at the top of my list of most favorites. I don’t have a lot to say about it, as it requires that it be seen for one to know the depth of it. It’s not for faint of heart.
It features a lot of high-end actors, and it’s one of Zac Efron’s more serious roles in his early career, which most people can appreciate.
I want to note particularly the end seen whenever Zac Efron’s character and Matthew McConaughey’s character were riding in a boat in the swamp after their father’s wedding. It was very surreal.
I watched this movie for the first time in a long time, and I loved it all over.
Words & Music by Terrell Brinlee
$10.00
Words & Music by Terrell Brinlee is the first full-length release by This Intangible Existence; the disc contains the most familiar works by This Intangible Existence, including "Flamingo Fandango", “ODE to Mars”, and “Interspecies Love”.
Words & Music by Terrell Brinlee Vol. II
$10.00
Words & Music Vol. II marks the redshift in the narrative. The record is lyrically more Christ-centered than the previous installment. It most notably features the “River Hymn” and “Calling Out Your name”.
Seeing Sarah
On February 6th, 2020, my sister and I went to see Sarah McLachlan at the Hobby Center in Houston Texas.
Whenever I started playing the piano in the late 90’s, I told myself that I wanted to play the piano like Sarah. During my lessons with my teacher, Janet Powell, we would regularly go over Sarah’s repertoire. I learned many themes, chord progressions, and melodies from her work. And often times, I’m reminded of her songs whenever these certain things occur in other musicians music.
Sarah’s performance was amazing. She is a superior musician and vocalist. She is true to her work in that she reenacts the music just as you expect to hear it. She performed this concert as an acoustic set, which is what I’m partial to. It was like we were sitting in a room together without the glitz of a band or a recording.
I tried to walk in with no expectations, but of all things, I wanted her to play the song “Wait”. Since the song was not released as a single, it was reasonable that she wouldn’t play it since so many other songs have come since then; however, she played “Wait”.
I was also introduced to a lot of her newer music, with a different perspective of the live event. The most notable thing was that when she play “Angel” it was like I was hearing it for the first time. It was like I was that kid in 1999 swinging in the front driveway, listening to what, at the time, was saddest and most moving song I’d ever heard—and so I wept not just for me, but for him as well because he was seeing his musical idol.
In preparation of the concert I went over a lot of her music. The lyrics to the song “Black” were painted on my ceiling along with posters of Sarah on the walls. I’d never played this song on the piano before, so I let myself to it. These words spoke to me so deeply as a teenager.
Out of the Silent Planet
Earlier this year I started reading Out of the Silent Planet by C. S. Lewis from the recommendation of Steven Fenly and the enthusiasm of Kelly Zwern. I’m a horribly slow reader but was inspired by Miryam to be better at it. I can say that in 2019 I read more than I had in a long time.
One of the most important tricks to being a better reader (in word or music) is reading something that you’re interested in. I found out if I like the idea, and the story is fun, I’m more likely to read it. I found this in Out of the Silent Planet. This story spoke to my heart and has informed my art—I think this is why Vanessa Carlton says you should read more to write more.
I wanted to chime in here so that I can remember that I spend my Christmas holiday finishing that book I was reading. I’m thankful for it… and now on to Part Two, Prelandrea.
I Have to Remember, The Journey Calls
“…All I have to do is remember, the journey calls, the leaves will fall…”
Last year around this time my single, “Leaves”, was released. It’s an old song for me, but as the machine would dictate, it showed itself at one of the most appropriate times. This year around, the song was waiting for me: making itself more relevant than ever. It’s since grown some little spheroid berries or “moons”—Christmas berries.
During this holiday season, I had some friends and family over for dinner. Usually in my bathroom there are grease pens, so I can write messages on the mirror: little mantras and sayings. On the bathroom counter I wrote, to remind myself, “the journey calls.” This was a call back to “Leaves” and an encouragement to myself. During a bathroom break some unknown person wrote below my words, “Respond”.
Respond.
It was the truth written on my bathroom counter, and something that I hadn’t thought of at all.
I’ve recently started going to a new church. My previous church experience was toxic to say the least. Becoming part of a new congregation has me a bit stand offish. I’ve been waiting for the right time to inject my musical prows, but last week the pastor called me and asked me to play… Christmas music…
I accepted the task, received the lead sheets, and began to prepare. Most would know that I’ve previously been opposed to standard Christmas tradition, but this year I didn’t care. This year I embraced it. I took to ‘Pete’, my instrument, and learned some new hymns for Christmas… and I was happy.
Today I played for this church for the first time, and towards the end of the sermon it was mentioned that we shouldn’t be hesitant to serve our local group of believers. I felt like it was speaking to my heart.
So with that, after a time of being out of service and hunkering down for the darkest days of the year, I will choose to remember “the journey calls”, and I have to Respond.
Also, completely unrelated, the following is a picture of Ms. Perdue
VSCO Queen
Saturn & A Woman Clothed in the Sun
Today I slept through everything. I had multiple dreams of note: My car was broken into and Eminem stole my girlfriend, but one sticks out strongly—
I met a man who was to act as a music producer for me. He has long blond hair and was well built. His studio and headquarters were in a huge house that was on a huge piece of land. Many people worked for him and he had a large entourage. Many of the scenes in the dream overlapped as dreams do. One scene, I watch as he was getting dressed in his office. It had sleek dark purple reflective tiling along the floors, walls, and ceiling. It was like he was getting fitted in a suit. He told me that a judge would be coming by in a little while so that we could all sign papers that would give them power of attorney over my creative decisions; I did not like this.
The most intriguing episode of the dream was in a wide-open field of the land that this house was on. It was surrounded by mountains, and I was standing at a cliff. Multiple people were also with us. These people were like peers of mine who had also signed under the producer. They felt like friends or people that you would work with, but there wasn’t anyone that I knew for sure. Standing at the cliff I peered into the sky and saw what appeared to be Saturn, but looked like the moon when seen in the brightest part of the day against the bluest sky. A white outline of a circle appeared around the planet, and a string of ambiguous text or symbols seemed to quickly type across the diameter with the planet in the middle. It looked similarly as if I was wearing an augmented reality lens, but I wasn’t wearing anything on my face. As I saw this I was filled with a deep fear and lament.
I then had a vision of a woman. She looks and was dressed as Beyonce’ during her 2017 Grammy performance, but it was not her. It was like an omen or a prophecy of something bad to come that was being impressed in my mind.
I was crying and had my face buried in the embrace of one of the friends around me. It was as if no one was seeing what I saw, or understood why I was so upset. I peered back up at the sky to see the anomaly again, then back into my friends embrace; more impressions entered my thoughts: a dark black space with Saturn infrared with something larger lurking behind it.
I lifted my face again and I saw the woman from the first vision walking toward us. Again, I was filled with fear and lament as she approached.
I Have to Remember III
And now for an even more unexpected third installation of a theme that I had no intentions to write about.
I have to remember that the smoke beckons and bellows from the thrown of men and devils. I have to remember that I’ve come far enough to know that I don’t need to run away from who I’ve become. I don’t have to inhale a cloud of mysticism, myth, ritual, or spirit. I have to remember that my body has become a dwelling place and that I’ve no need to clear the air of the presence that occupies the room.
Drug culture is a dangerous culture. Cigarettes are shepherds and Marijuana is the gate wide and welcoming. Clad in a Lofi view and hours of beautiful music.
I have to remember that I don’t need to run away; for from what there is to run, I have already.
I Have to Remember II
As I was coming to this screen to type these words, I thought about what I wanted to say. What kept coming to mind was, “I have to remember”. I knew that I was wrote something about that recently, but I couldn’t help but believe there was something else that was written since then.
Either Way.
I have to remember that my call was something greater than just to be a musician. I have to remember that I wasn’t called to be the greatest singer. I have to remember that I wasn’t called to be the greatest piano player—that I wasn’t supposed to alway express the most sweet-delicious-luscious harmonies that would make some of my favorite artists say, “That guy knows what he’s doing!”.
“…To be a minstrel in the courts of the Most High…” a Levite of sorts. I am to accurately and passionately declare the Gospel. It just so happens to be that my medium is music. Regardless of how I spin the record, write the words, or reharmonize the chord, it will always come back to the Gospel.
I Have to Remember
I dreamed that my grandmother laid moments away from death. She had her arms spread out wide as if she were free-falling or in flight. She was smiling, and as the sounds in the space centered to a silent swelling point, I heard her say. “Praise God!”. There was a flash of light, and her body was taken. All that was left was this strange stone cast or something like a reverse impression. The eye of the right side of her face was fixed on me with a red gleam in it, but she was gone.
Since I started working from home my sleep schedule has been awful. Particularly this holiday season, I’m struggling. It easily becomes more than just not sleeping. It translates into lonely hour of no human activity while you’re stuck in a room in the middle of a dreary Dallas suburban home after everyone has gone to sleep.
Regretting things. Considering things. Wishing things.
it’s been miserable, but worse things have been before. I have to remember how bad it can be. I have to remember the consistent coughing up of phlegm due to my poor choices. I have to remember that my decisions are not other people’s, and that my faith is not equal to my religious practice.
I’m not who I was ten years ago any more, and it shows.