Winter Sun: Rehersals after Sam

"The winter here is cold, and bitter; it chills us to the bone..."

New songs emerge ready for the studio.

My thoughts are a bit bleak this Winter. It's easy to say that I'm not as destroyed as I was two years ago, or even just a year ago. It's clear though that the winter sun--or lack there of--takes it's toll on my body.  Earlier this year I had received prayer of healing from depression. It was seemingly effective.  What has become so disheartening of this season is that I find myself depressed. Friends made it clear to me that even though Lazarus was brought back from the dead, he was still subject to death. That's unless he's still alive somewhere, and we don't know it; I'm sure that's not the case. 

This year I'm sober, and have dealt with all of this in sound mind. The music is still to come in January. I have been most lazy in rehearsing for the studio. The track list is strange; I've never gone in with this kind of plan or itinerary. Initially I was going to do a complete worship album, but as the time carried on, some new songs emerged. These songs had never existed before, and weren't part of my stock pile or the things in my slow cooker. Through dreams and petitions they arose. I knew that I would need to take them to the studio, so that they were down before die. 

In the slow cooker, waiting to be revealed. 

I've had an impending since of doom lately, and an urge to "handle my business". So, this year will be a studio year of utility. I'll be recording the originals that have made themselves prevalent, as well as the worship set that I gathered. Most importantly, I will be recording some scratch work of the things in the slow cooker. This will be so I can go over them through out the year, and determine what is trying to be said through them. This is a first for me at the studio.

This fleeting reality.

Worst of all of these things is the death of my brother, and my non response. Maybe I'm subconsciously dealing with it? I'm not I'm angry about it more than anything. I'm angry that he couldn't maintain relationships. I'm angry that the people that have inherited his legacy are irrelevant to my grieving process. I'm angry that he's dead, and we last left each other with such a petty argument. I'm angry. I'm not sad. I'm angry that I've been dealt this card of response.

I'm mad because of this fleet reality. People can be so important, and hold major rolls in the influence of ones life. They are aloud to participate or not. All too often we choose to keep ourselves separated and isolated from those who need us.

One day we're just gone, though. Never to be spoken to; never to be reconciled to our role. We become that vapor, and we're carried off by the wind. No goodbyes. No apologies. No recovery. 

"Explosions, on the day you wake up needing somebody, and you've learned: It's ok to be afraid, but it will never be the same."

Dream Sequence; Titans

I was at the shell gas station across the street from Beckwith's. I was facing Beckwith's, and some sort of explosion happened behind me. There were these large animals--as big as buildings. They were destroying things. 

One of the beasts passed over me, and broke the glass out of my car. A blue light came on the dash board that I'd never seen that said "Return" along with a symbol. My vehicle would barely drive at this point. There was no power upon acceleration. 

I ended up getting my vehicle across the street, and the animals had passed. Many people were coming to Beckwith's with there cars with the same light on their dash boards. It was a signal sent out by the government that caused the problem to occur. Only the manufacturer could fix the problem. 

--- Jump Scene

I'm in a movie theater. With Lynn and her Mom. I'm drinking during the film: Jack and Coke. I offer drinks to Lynn's who then gives them to her mom.

Food Problems & Image Complex

I've been dieting now for a week. Part of me really wanted to just lose some weight; the other part of me wamtef to see my abs. Regardless of what diet I'm doing, it's just that, a diet. I'm hungry--all the time, and in trying to be mature about it; however, I'm getting really emotional over the fact that it's $0.50 corndog day at Sonic, and I don't get to participate. 

Let's define terms: I'm not over weight, at all. In fact, by looking at me you would think I could stand to gain a few; but I'm no Abercrombie model either. "Then why?"

I have to be straight up honest with myself (and the internet)---I have an image complex. 

I see myself, and don't like what I see. 

To go further, I ha e a food addiction that has become inflamed since I quit smoking cigarettes almost five months ago. 

I have a major problem on my gands, that has a deep root in my heart. Being aware of the throne I have given addiction before, I may have stumble upon an elitist that has been lurking in the shadows, secretly pulling strings.

 

 

 

Dream Sequence: Goats

A few weeks ago, I had the following dream; I wrote it down in a word document, so that I could uphold the details, but never posted it:

----

I dreamed.

I purchased a house in the suburbs.

I was young, like a child.

I had a boyfriend.

He was Columbian with long hair.

We were playing in the back yard.

He went to the neighbor’s house. They were not home.

In the back yard I saw a strange white deer. It was female.

I went to the neighbor’s house where my boyfriend and his brother were jumping on the neighbors trampoline.

I didn’t want to be there.

My bills were laying around in paper trays on the trampoline. I told them that I wanted to leave and that my bills shouldn’t be here.

I went back to my house, and I found that the deer I saw had birthed a new born.

The new born was in a circle of trees like at the end of fern gulley.

My boyfriend came by and told him to look at the new white deer. He said that it was making a funny face, and then he imitated it.

I was behind him, and I had my hands around his midsection as we were crouching down. He was a bit out of shape, and I didn’t like it.

Whenever I woke up I realized that the deer was not a deer. It was a goat. And that’s why my boyfriend said it was making a funny face. Because it was a goat face.

Dream Sequence: The Witch of Endor

My recollection of the dream starts off in a million different places. Malls, and shopping centers, and grocery stores. Low ceilings like in departments stores. 

Then all of a sudden I'm down the street... with my parents; however it's not Paula and Ricky. I needed to get to the Kroger across the street. It was night time, and there was the amber glow of street lights. The street was very busy like 1960 in Spring. I was driving a car to get across, and picked up a Mexican Man who needed to cross. He and I spoke briefly, but I had never met him.

Crossing the street, and in to the store, I was in the bathroom supply section: like face wash and shower gel. I met up with my Pastor, Mike, and he told me that we would meet up with a woman who practiced the same sorcery as the Witch of Endor. So then we went to my apartment.

My memory leads me to another part of my dream sequence that may or may not have been related.----
My sister Vicky had large portrait-oriented, framed, poster-sized photographs printed. They were sibling related: one was of Gordon, Becky, Vicky, and Kevin all sitting at a table next to a beautiful building having dinner, and looking at the person taking the picture. They weren't smiling, rather, their faces were solemn. There was another one of that was of she and I; it was a collage of sorts: showing different pictures of us together. She had others that I could see. There were none of Sam. Sam's picture, however, showed up in little places here and there--like Easter eggs--------

Back in my other dream with Pastor Mike, Ashely Norton, and other people from the church. We were waiting for this woman to give us a "teaching". She walks into the room, and she is like stick figure drawing (shown). She had a very high voice: very soft and pleasent. 

She said that she would start the ceremony that she came to do. I was confused at first because I thought that she was going to be giving a teaching, or something along those lines. I didn't resit her magic, however, I laid down on the couch upside down; my feet on the back of the sofa, and my back on the seat. She sat on top of me and started to power my nose with a little white fluffy ball, and white powder. She spoke words over me with her little voice quietly the whole time. She ended her deal by wrapping her arms around me and and having me do the same to her. She was petite and frail. She then did something to crack my back, and at that point there was a non-sexual climax in my body, and I was moaning loudly as though something was released. My friend Ashely got up and left the room as though she wasn't going to take part in it anymore. The Woman would be performing the same practice on all the people in the room. With this I woke up.

Again, My memory leads me to another bit of dream that also occurred that may or may not be related to the main narrative. I was at the end of my Dad's neighborhood, Green Acres, where there were no houses. I was on a mattress that had no sheets on it, and I was laying on my stomach. I wasn't able to walk, and I was dragging the mattress along under my belly as I crawled along inch by inch. While there Jerry from Impact showed up. He told me something that I don't exactly recall, but it was something along the lines of, "Get Up". 

Dream Sequence: Courts & Tiny Chapel

It's difficult to remember this early. 

There was a court room. It was where I worked, or where I was being judged. The courtroom was part of a city, and left a block, and around the corner was a tiny chapel. It seemed to be Catholic in design.

The chapel was surrounded by a rod iron fence covered in vines. There was an older black lady there who kept the ground of the chapel. She was like a Nun, or either a very devout person of faith. She knew my name. 

I walked over to the chapel once by myself, and went in. The yard that the chapel sat on was concrete all the way around, and tucked with two buildings perpendicular to the corner it sat on. The chapel itself was small maybe about five foot by five foot with only enough room to sit in. There was iron bars around the chapel itself. It appeared to be locked. The door was spring loaded, like a screen door would be, and would snap shut when opened. 

Inside there was one tiny window, and a wooden bench. The walls were painted with a very old murals that escape me. The wall that you faced as you sat was inscribed with what I recalled as a prayer--perhaps the Lord's Prayer, or something that a catholic would recite.

On a separate occasion I went to the chapel with two other guys. They seemed like popular you tube personalities, but they were both gay. We went to the chapel from he courts, and all three of us went in. 

I recall a statement I said, "What will people think seeing us three going into this chapel" or something like that. We weren't there for supplication, rather we were goofing off. We knew we had to be back at the courts within a certain amount of time. 

I learned at this point that the chapel and the courts were connected, and that the courts would prescribe time spent in the chapel.

As I left the black lady who kept the grounds questioned my being there in a motherly tone, as if she knew I was goofing off. 

Thoughts Forming & "Four Hard Corners"

I wanted to post a little update to show this picture that I came across from my past. While I was writing in 2010/2011 I was brought to the concept of "Four Hard Corners", and how they defined the monolithic paradigm switch that I was upon artistically. It would move my song writing process from a phonetic style of construction to a visual style that would involve color, texture, and pallet. Some five years later I can look back now, and see the beginnings of the board.  The picture shown to the right is the cover of the fourth book I wrote in before the burning. It wonderful the foreseeing that is art.

The Guilt of a Nation & My Own

Retreat to your mind
Harvest the hollowed gourds and fill them with song
Fill them with the things of depravity:
Summer's Lust
I-10
Broken Law

My own Guilt
& the Guilt of a Nation

Love Wins / Love Wins
Barack Obama / Rob Bell

I never thought that gay marriage would not be legalized; I believed it was inevitable, though I do feel like it was a bit all of a sudden. Maybe someone who was following the story a bit more closely would think other wise.

This will bring a judgment to the nation, but I don't think it's a judgment that wasn't already upon us prior to the legalization of gay marriage. I believe that God is biding his time for America, and thankfully so. That could be considered a cop out, but my heart feels the swelling of the end of the age. That is to say that it's not the beginning of a new age already. 

My thought on all of this have been amended on this world.

Geocentrism 
The Jew 
Music
Sorcery
The Spirit
My Savior 
Reflex Blue
 

O' Reflex Blue
 

Woodsboro Baptist: A Complete Thought

A few weeks back I started down a rabbit trail. I spoke too quickly, and too briefly about this subject, and it caused a lot of drama on Facebook. Now, I'm at a good enough distance that I can speak from a better vantage point.

Before I talk any further about this I have to say that I am in no way affiliated with Westboro Baptist Church, other than the fact that I am a Christian who seeks a greater understanding of Jesus Christ. 

Follow Me...

I was watching videos on the internet, and I saw the following: 

Everyone in America has seen the protest that these people have done, and know what kind of people they are. Given that this video is circa 2011, I'm sure that Westboro Baptist Church is synonymous with hate speech by this time. 

Two minutes into this video I believe that everything is pretty normal. Shirley quotes some foundations of her doctrine, all of which can be referenced Biblically. Tyra rapid fires questions at Shirley as to display her many peculiar beliefs to here audience, and with that the heat in the room is created. The camera pans to a gay man in audience as he writhes. 

I was offended by this video for many reasons, but the main reason that led me to today was this: This is how America has viewed Christianity; as a hate monger. And at the end of this interview no one accepts Jesus. 
All the while, the truth that the Bible speaks was given. 

I continued down the rabbit hole of Westboro Youtube Videos. The next video I watched is shown here:

Note that there are 4 videos in this series, and I would recommend watching all of them. I watched this during my lunch break, and subsequently was late getting back because I had to finish it. There are definitely some weird things here that anyone would find strange--But I don't believe they are "wrong" or "crazy". 

I love Shirley's boldness; it shows in the entire lot of these people. At this point in the timeline many people have left her church, and her response is priceless: she flat out doesn't care, "Bye!". 

Later that Night I found the next video that ultimately would bring me to my social media ruin:

The following is my post where I share the video:

If I could change anything about this statement, I would remove the  words "spot on". 

I also want to be clear (because I wasn't in the post) that though I said my beliefs had changed from what they were before, it didn't mean that my beliefs totally aligned with Woodsboro. Also, the "religious zealot" hashtag that accompanied this post was a wink to audience, and a bit of sarcasm; however, I want to show the points that I do directly agree with. They are as follows: 

"...suddenly they don't know what the Bible says" [this is probably the main point]

"Do we need to discuss having sex in the park?" [Really, this part is just kind funny, I wonder what it would sound like on a loop]

"What about God hates workers of iniquity? What about these plain words of scripture?" [Here she quotes countless scriptures broadly, but it's mostly derived from Jesus in Matthew 7 saying, "And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me ye that work iniquity". The word Iniquity means lawlessness. The law that Jesus is referring to here is the Torah, or the first five books of the Bible (Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Deuteronomy, and Numbers).]

"These people are in a furry about 'God Hates'" [She quotes scripture powerfully whenever she talks about Malachi 2:17, speaking on the average person's response to her ministry.] 

The connection she makes between Pompeii and Sodom really caught my attention. I can't say it's exactly solid yet (I would have to do more research), but I think she makes a great point.

At 19:00 she speaks of prophecy, and is pretty "spot on" ;) Anyone who subscribes to New World Order talk or Illuminati conspiracy would agree. Many people looked at George Bush as a Christian; It is my belief that no man with true Christian values would ever make it to office.

"This is the, 'I'm gonna get even with you up in here because you've been telling us these words that we hate.' Well go for it. Go for it. Because God know there isn't anything hidden." [Her boldness is awesome.]

"Don't try to trick people into obedience, just tell them the words plain and straight."

Whenever the questions start from the students the same type of cornering happens that I believe happened in the Tyra video. I believe everyone in the room hates Woodsboro, and honestly doesn't want to come to understanding of Shirley's truth. They want to ask questions that might pin Shirley down, and find a hole in logic. She doesn't back down from any questions, and answers firmly quickly, and doesn't give anyone time to snare her. Some would call that argumentative, but in "this" scenario, I call it seeing through bull shit. Her boldness is "spot on" to stand up to a group of secular college kids and not be shot down.

Other times in this video where I applaud her are as follows:

31:00 - 32:00 - 38:00 [Do what you got to do..] - 38:40 [You ignorance is no excuse... and how she explains herself]

"You should not be sensitive or thinned skinned about matters of your dying soul"

40:00 [I love their spell casting chants] - 43:00 - 45:00 - 46:44 - 52:00 [she stumbles and shows shame; that is part of repentance] - 57:30 [the people are more interested in mocking her to her face] - 58:50

---

After this, I posted some more videos that I watched that helped broaden my perspective of Woodboro:

These videos didn't get any comments like my first one did. 

My journey of learning about Woodsboro ended with hearing Fred Phelps' son's testimony. It was a sad story. It was a sad story because he'd completely left from faith in Jesus Christ in the end. 

These words from Timothy are definitely missing from the preaching of Westboro Baptist. I think that is very clear. 

What I respect most about Woodsborow is that they believe so hard. They are not ashamed of what the Bible says, and they ingest it in raw form. It's taken me a few weeks to come to this conclusion; at first I wasn't sure how to formulate my thought, but I guess it can be summed up as follows:

I have a deep respect for Christian believers who are uncompromising of The Word, or The Bible, regardless of what others may think of them, and who demonstrate audacious faith. 

That is something that is missing is modern Christianity, and something I seek to grow into. 

Dream Sequence: The Cage

I was walking down the east bound side of FM 1960 in Humble, across from the First Assembly of God church and Beckwith's Car Care. There I met a creole dark-skinned black man with a white parrot. He was dressed very homely: wearing a white wife-beater that was dark colored from his doings. He was thin with very short curly hair.
As he approached me he asked me to come and see his home, and I agreed. 
I followed him in between the properties of the church and Beckwith's to a place set off deeply in the woods.
His home was in an incredibly thick brush that walled the boundaries of the area. The area was rectangular, and divided into three separate sections. I don't recall passing through the first section. The second section was like his workplace, or like a shed that one would have behind their house. There was a brush line that divided it from the third section with a cut out path at the left side of the area. This aloud passage to the third section.
He kept leading me towards the third section, and I followed without hesitation.
There I was shown a cage.
As we walked closer to it he told me that he was "keeping them there for more of a homeopathic study". I asked him if he would have doctors come in to look at them, and he replied no. Not much else of our conversation do I recall.
the cage was was square and long, and had another structure built around it that covered it from the elements. The cage had multiple parts and shafts in it, like a raccoon trap.  There was a section cut out of it closer to it's top so that his parrot could fly in an out of it; I believed that the cage was for his parrot. His parrot flew in, and greeted him as he knelt by the cage, and spoke to me more about the cage. There was an adult pig roaming about in this third section as well. His parrot was dirty, and his feathers resembled that of dirty wool on a sheep.

As I peered into the cage I saw a woman's hand and arm come forward that gestured for the man to give her food. Looking in deeper I could see the face of a child in it as well. I realized that there were people in this cage. The man told me he found them in the woods, but I knew he was lying. I asked if he was going to keep them there, and he implied yes. 
I told him that I had to leave, and headed leave. Once I got to the second section I realized that I couldn't leave the people there, and I had to do something. As I turned around to go back to the cage the man was standing in the path between the second and third section, and he'd drawn a knife on me. The whites in his eyes had turned blood red, and he embodied a wickedness that was previously not in him.
I'd managed to grab the knife from him, and started to attack him; however, the knife was very dull and rusty, and the man had strangely thick and leathery skin.
He laughed at me as I tried to stab him in the face with the knife, as if he knew that the knife was not sharp enough. He then pulled out another knife that was sharper. There was a struggle for a moment, but I got the knife from him.
In a simultaneous moment I stabbed him in the mouth and the temple --- I stabbed the man in mouth having the blade pass through the back of his head and driving it into the ground --- I stabbed the man in the left temple, and then twisted the blade.
When the fight was over my next action was to contact the police. 

Joshua and Saturn

It's taken me a long time to finish the Book of Joshua. 

Primarily because I'd become disinterested. The narrative of the story is very much about war, and Isreal destroying other Nations; I'm not much for a war story. At the end the story wraps up very neatly though. 

The book of Joshua holds the crossing of the Jordan. The time that the sun and moon stood still takes place here also. These are parts of scripture that I had always known about--I may have even heard a sermon or two on these subjects, but I've never completely heard the words straight through. 

The book is summarized wonderfully in the 24th chapter. The Israelites are allotted their land & promise from God, and Joshua dies. There are a couple of verses that have shown themselves relevant to me within Joshua's final proclamation to the people of Isreal. I would like to share those.

"Now therefore fear the Lord, and serve him in sincerity and in truth: and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the flood, ad in Egypt; and serve ye the Lord"

The term, "on the other side of the flood", is special to me. I can see the metaphorical flood in my life, the things it destroyed, and the remnants of giants left behind. Recently, I've been learning about the occult symbolism that has been associated with the planet of Saturn; it is often paralleled with Satanism, Kabbala, and the Kaaba in Mecca. 

As a young composer of songs, I was unaware of what was involved. As my mind started to fill in the blanks of the world I was creating through my method of symbols and sounds, I came to identify myself as Saturn. Some ten years later, having completed formal recording of my work, I look back at the alters to other gods I've built within the artistic realm. I've created myself as an enemy against the God of Isreal. I liken it to the acts of Ballem.

Still, I want to know the God of Isreal, Jesus, and His Holy Spirit. 

I'm wrapped in these rings of Saturn, and I'm rising on the horizon of Enceladus; As Lazarus was wrapped in the dressings of a dead man, when Jesus called him from the tomb. 

This is what I believe; however, I can't omit that these conclusions of mine are that of the Lord's completely, and I'm called to vigilance.

Composition is at a halt indefinitely. I can't say that I'm upset right now. My motives haven't been as clear as I wished they'd been, and it's time that I not be so frivolous with my words.

Recording Complete

I'm excited to say that the recording for my record is complete. 

I have had the recordings for a couple of weeks, but there is always a bit of postpartum disgust with the finished product. I had the oppertunities to meet with a lot of close friends and family to present it to, so that I could gather my confidences with it. 

The record is titled "Bulbs", and is my most intement collection of songs over the time since I moved to Houston. It's also the third installment of recordings that I done with Hilltrax Studios.

I had a hard time in the studio this year around. The songs were meticulous this year around, and the subject matter was difficult to express--illusive, to say the least.

I've a lot of support during this time from my family and the church, and I want to say that they were more than instrumental in making it very possible; all my need were met during the time, and I was able to completely hoan in on my work. 

The record will be made available in the next few weeks over a verity of outlets across the web, so stay tuned to my Facebook and my Instagram.

And as always you can find me here at  This Intangible Existence dot com. :)

 

 

Dream Sequence

It was Thanksgiving, and I went home to Louisiana. People were celebrating in some of the strangest ways. Everyone was living outside in these make shift houses that were all lined up in a row in a giant field. It was a festival. There were many familiar faces: my extended family & people I went to high school with.

Each house was set up in its own way, and built with different things. Some had canopies, some had barbecue pits, and others were just plywood slapped together.

Night had fallen, and I became bored. I started to wander around visiting others to pass the time.

I saw the Costa family, but Chris was not with them. I visited with them for a while. They were having Catholic rituals by using the computer. The graphics on the screen were a row of squares that would move and sparkle, and each square had a letter in it. I believe it spelled faith.

The next day, there was a group of high school friends, and they were all skydiving. There was no plane. Stephen Stasioisky was there, and he offered to go with me. We were to take these small candies that were black and tasted and looked like sprees.

I took the candy, and I immediately regretted my decision. But, I was too late. I was immediately in the sky. I was above the clouds, and I wasn't falling. It was like I could maneuver in the air. I was only wearing shorts and a parachute.

I remember the clouds. It was Dusk, and the sun was setting far ahead of me. Stephen was in the air with me, and we had become connected somehow spiritually. He told me we would have to go back down, but because I didn't know how to get down, he grabbed me proceeded downward.

Once I got back to ground, I realized that I had done something up there that was worth praise. I walked around boldly as if I understood the method of "skydiving" completely after one visit.

Dream Sequence

I saw nameless; We were going to a meeting of sorts; perhaps it was a Celebrate Recovery meeting. We found out that there were terrorists in the room that we were going to. So we ran. At this point we  were outside of the building, and the landscape was desert terrain.

We were hiding behind this wall when the terrorists found us. We ran. Nameless; was shot twice. I can recall seeing him standing there telling me that he had been shot.

The dream jumps scenes, and I'm in this room during the night with Nameless;. He's laying in a bed that takes up most of the room. This room is on the second floor. He was dying there. We had relations, and then it seems he disappears as if he was never there. I wandered around this building for a while.

The next scene jumps to me on the balcony of a high rise apartment which was where I was living. I had gotten word while I was out there that he had died. I played my according in a B minor round. There were three girls on the building across from me on the very top who were listening to me.

Dream Sequence - the Jackson's and Family Secrets

I was very close friend a with Michael Jackson. I spent a weekend with him indulging in the finer things. While I was at his house I had learned about some secret documents he had. Two papers in particular. I was prompted by some press to give them the in to these documents. He was Living in very gross hoarder-like conditions. His never land ranch had already been take away from him, and he was living in a small and modest home in North Louisiana.

I would be leaving soon, and I met with a woman who would have me expose him. He was getting ready to go on tour or something along those lines. He didn't realize that he had left these two documents out. He left. Then me and another gentleman went back into his house found the paper, and I took pictures of them with my cell phone. As we were sneaking in there was a police car out side of the house with its blue and red light on spinning in the front yard, as it pulled in from the street, but it didn't see us.

It seemed like Michael and I were sexually involved to some degree, and that these paper would expose him in that way somehow. After I obtained the files this woman who was thin pretty and dark headed picked me up. I knew she worked for some type of government entity. I was afraid for myself because I had been using drugs, and she knew that. Either way, she was friendly, and thanked me for my help in the case.

I went back to Michael's house the next time he was there, and the media had already taken their toll on him. I remember that I couldn't look him in the eye, but I wasn't sure if he knew that I had anything to do with leaked information. The man who was with me the night that I copied the documents was there before I got there. We had betrayed him.

My time with him was over and I was on my way home with my Mother. I wasn't sure if she had known what I'd done.

Traveling home we came to a fork in the road, she told me that I was headed the wrong direction, and unless I turned around I would be headed to Arkansas. I was driving a vehicle with a trailer on the back of it. There were other people in the street at the fork: people bringing there kids to college for the first time. This led me to believe I was in Ruston.

My mom began to tell me a story that resembled much of what had just happened with Michael Jackson. She told me this as the dream changed scenes. Her narration became what I saw. She explained to me that back in the 80's something pretty nasty went down between my family, intermediate and extended, were audited along with a big oil mogul and the Haynes family for some pretty shady activity. The details were never divulged.

She handed me a maroon folder with gold embossed lettering on it that contained all of the secret that she spoke of.

I could see a curio cabinet or shadow box in the vision of the narration that belonged to my grandmother. It had many memorable items of real life. It was on a lazy Suzanne type of turn style, and could be kept behind glass. At this point of the dream the two narratives of what happened with Michael Jackson and the latter with my family seem to become blended and confused .

Towards the end of the dream my mother and I are talking, and she is ending this epic tale and secret. She goes on to say that I should read the information for myself, and that since I held nothing against the family in ignorance that I shouldn't let what I'm about to find out change my perspective.

I woke to the following on the radio: Novelletta Composer: Giuseppe Martucci, Conductor: Francesco d'Avalos

I feel as though many of the details have been removed from my mind upon waking and writing.

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