Hatching Coordinates

When the music comes, it is an unstoppable force. Nothing controls the muse as it demands its passing. The years of 2015 and 2016 were creatively vibrant. It was the closing of my synthetic exploration with my EP, Bulbs, and it was opening season for what would become my most successful release, That You Are Mindful of Him, and my brand establishing compilation, Words & Music.

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During that time I was bombarded with a shower of songs that came to me in dreams. I would wake up in the middle of the night to document what I could, then go back to sleep. This is something that most songwriters often experience. I never let go of those songs. Something was special about them.

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At the time I was single, sober, and had become quite the religious zealot. All three of these features would break down and would have to be reestablished and adjusted. Fast forward some four to five years later and here I am: on the verge of my next compilation, single, sober, and striving to be as authentic in my faith as possible. Then, comes “Coordinates”: one of the songs from my dreams.

I’d teamed up with Kelly Zwern in early 2019, and we started writing music together. Initially, it was pressing on my heart that she collaborate with me on “Coordinate”. I was scared because it was “my precious” (like they all do). She became an informant as I continued to sit on the egg.

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Last night the song hatched. A word from a friend via text message would cause the first crack, and before I knew it the structure, the lyrics, the tone were all present.

And that’s how it happens. You lay an egg, and you never know how long, or if it will ever hatch. But when it does, you’re covered in fluids, the hormones rush, and you’re in love.

I Have to Remember, The Journey Calls

“…All I have to do is remember, the journey calls, the leaves will fall…”

Last year around this time my single, “Leaves”, was released. It’s an old song for me, but as the machine would dictate, it showed itself at one of the most appropriate times. This year around, the song was waiting for me: making itself more relevant than ever. It’s since grown some little spheroid berries or “moons”—Christmas berries.

During this holiday season, I had some friends and family over for dinner. Usually in my bathroom there are grease pens, so I can write messages on the mirror: little mantras and sayings. On the bathroom counter I wrote, to remind myself, “the journey calls.” This was a call back to “Leaves” and an encouragement to myself. During a bathroom break some unknown person wrote below my words, “Respond”.

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Respond.

It was the truth written on my bathroom counter, and something that I hadn’t thought of at all.

I’ve recently started going to a new church. My previous church experience was toxic to say the least. Becoming part of a new congregation has me a bit stand offish. I’ve been waiting for the right time to inject my musical prows, but last week the pastor called me and asked me to play… Christmas music…

I accepted the task, received the lead sheets, and began to prepare. Most would know that I’ve previously been opposed to standard Christmas tradition, but this year I didn’t care. This year I embraced it. I took to ‘Pete’, my instrument, and learned some new hymns for Christmas… and I was happy.

Today I played for this church for the first time, and towards the end of the sermon it was mentioned that we shouldn’t be hesitant to serve our local group of believers. I felt like it was speaking to my heart.

So with that, after a time of being out of service and hunkering down for the darkest days of the year, I will choose to remember “the journey calls”, and I have to Respond.


Also, completely unrelated, the following is a picture of Ms. Perdue

VSCO Queen

VSCO Queen

I Have to Remember II

As I was coming to this screen to type these words, I thought about what I wanted to say. What kept coming to mind was, “I have to remember”. I knew that I was wrote something about that recently, but I couldn’t help but believe there was something else that was written since then.

Either Way.

I have to remember that my call was something greater than just to be a musician. I have to remember that I wasn’t called to be the greatest singer. I have to remember that I wasn’t called to be the greatest piano player—that I wasn’t supposed to alway express the most sweet-delicious-luscious harmonies that would make some of my favorite artists say, “That guy knows what he’s doing!”.

“…To be a minstrel in the courts of the Most High…” a Levite of sorts. I am to accurately and passionately declare the Gospel. It just so happens to be that my medium is music. Regardless of how I spin the record, write the words, or reharmonize the chord, it will always come back to the Gospel.

New Teeth

This morning I’ll be playing on a new set of teeth. I had some repairs done to my traveling ghost. Aside from needing a good brushing, and something rolling around in the case, they seem to have fixed the over zealous D below middle C and the sticky B just above. 

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I know more than ever, that there is a high importance to the cohesion of musicians in a band: unity in direction, repertoire, and purpose; otherwise, it’s just karaoke...

I've been meaning to talk about this...

Over the past two months, I've had some major life changes. I've had a group of pictures sitting on my desktop just waiting to be uploaded to my blog; however, with these changes, I've been busier than I expected. This morning I'm sitting in the lunchroom of Beckwith's Car Care while I wait to get my oil changed. If that statement doesn't note the situation enough, allow me to expound:

Firstly, I participate in the MS150. It was a two-day bike ride that took the life out of me. It's fun to see what you're body can handle, and being 31, I wanted to push it to the limit. The last time I did the MS150 was about six years previous. It was a successful venture.

Shortly after that, my latest single, "Lamps", was released; which was followed up by the special EP release of "His Precipice". I'm very proud of these releases; they feature a bunch of extra content that makes it more than just a single or an EP; I really got to celebrate a new era of music in my writing.

Shortly after the ride, and after the release of the new music, I guess you could say that I was feeling a little froggy. I met an anthropomorphic man named Pete. I didn't think that I was going to bring him home with me, but my credit was good enough, and Miryam thought he was cute. As a musician, this was a big step for me.

I bought a piano today. He will be called Petrof. He's got a deep voice and a big chest for a little guy. Song: "Flamingo Fandango" - This Intangible Existence (as if there wasn't a better to introduce myself)

Lastly, and probably most notably. I resigned from my long-standing position at Beckwith's Car Care. It was a very deliberated and difficult decision to make; however, with love and respect I hung up my Beckwith Blues and have ventured into the world of a corporate enterprise with Amerit Fleet Solutions.

I'm glad I get to write this blog while sitting at the lunch room of Beckwith's; this place is home in a way. 

... and the sun set with a few tears, and a heartwarming goodbye (for now).

... and the sun set with a few tears, and a heartwarming goodbye (for now).

Hanging with SAVERCOOL

I was given a great opportunity to hang out with Richard Savercool this weekend and fill in for him while he was letting his voice rest.

It was such a different experience to jam the front spot for a rock band. I felt like Jagger a little bit ;)

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Compilation Recording with CSR!

Last night, we had an amazing time recording the compilation record for CSR. I am so honored to be featured on such an amazing talented line up of artists. There will be more on this as details become available. 

In the mean time please enjoy this video of my new track that will be featured on the CD entitled "River Hymn".

Interview with The Painter

At the beginning of the year, I got to meet an amazing artist: The Painter. We totally hit it off in this interview from Local Houston Music. The most exciting part about this is that The ETX Rocks Show syndicated it to all of their listeners. I hope you enjoy the interview and The Painter's Music. 

Check out Local Houston Music for more information on other artists in the Houston area.

Behind Words & Music: a Conversation

The latest release from This Intangible Existence, Words & Music, is a compilation album of the artist's previously released remastered original compositions. Terrell Brinlee, the man behind the act, sat down and answered a few questions.

Why did you want to do a compilation album?

“I’ve always been in a state of reimagining these works. Whenever I started recording with Billy Hillman back in 2013, I was doing this: making better recordings of previously recorded material. Recording at Hilltrax Studio, I was able to exhaust my repertoire in a way that I’d never done before. That happened over the course of about three years. Whenever I finished That You Are Mindful of Him, I knew that I wanted to give these songs another shot, and a new sequence to exist in--a final form.”

 

In previous interviews and essays, you’ve spoken on these songs. Has the narrative has changed at all with the new sequence?

“The concentration for this set-list was to show chronology and progress over a length of time. I wanted to hear 2006 through 2016. These songs have helped to tell my story for so long, and they have defined my artistry. They needed to be cradled together as one story the same way that I was introduced to them. There are four smaller sets within the entire playlist. The first set is a ‘coming of age’ tale, and also renders spiritual exploration in astrotheology. In the second set, Christianity becomes more prominent in the work, though that theme is throughout. The spiritual scope becomes narrow with more Biblical perspective. Thirdly, I talk a lot about accepting who you are as an individual; and lastly, depravity is recognized, and Jesus becomes the only means of salvation.”

Though professing to be a Christian, you talk about dealing with homosexuality.  Wouldn’t those seem like two conflicting positions?

“They are. W&M is a great place to tackle this idea, however. The songs articulate this better than my spoken word can. My opinions about it have varied over the past ten years, but ultimately I believe the truth stands for itself. The Bible is clear about homosexuality, so I don’t think I have to quote the book to define that position. Part of my goal is to share my experiences with homosexuality and Jesus, so that if there is anyone else in my situation they might be helped or comforted. No one has a good answer right now for people who want to follow the Lord but have this disposition. Most of the solutions come from outside the LGBT community, and I don’t think people respond to that well. I by no means claim to have the answer, but I think I have something to offer.”

How that’s been received?

“I’ve definitely gotten hate mail. It’s a bit of a hot topic these days, and the LGBT community is gaining a lot of ground politically. It’s difficult to state your case whenever it goes against an entire people group who are seeking social reform in the exact opposite direction you’re going in. You’re basically a defector or a traitor.”  

You mention That You Are Mindful of Him, which was released earlier this year. What kind of response did you get from your listeners?

“The record has been an absolute blessing to my musical career. I feel like I gained a lot of listenership because of it. I’ve said it many times before, music about the Gospel is ultimately why I do what I do; I really wanted to do a worship set, and concentrate on more obscure songs; many seem to have taken a liking to it. TYAMOH allowed for me to go back into the studio for W&M, and do all the remastering. With new listenership, I thought the timing was right to reintroduce these songs. I feel like Gospel artists are often looked at as if they are morally perfect;  W&M really levels the playing field, and promotes transparency to those listening to my story.”

What happens next for This Intangible Existence?

“I’ve been training with different piano techniques, and playing songs that are out of the norm for my musical vocabulary. I’m really looking to expand my abilities as a musician, and hopefully, my writing will reflect that, as well as my recordings. I’m sure I’m going back into the studio in the earlier part of 2017, but I’m not sure what the result will be. Traditionally I’ve done live set recording, but I would like to branch into more layered productions and create a higher quality product that focuses on one song at a time, rather than a whole set of them. This would leave the door open for later collaboration with other artists.

Words & Music, the new compilation record by This Intangible Existence is now available on iTunes, Google Play, and Spotify, as well as a complete catalog of covers, worship music, and other original works.

 

 

 

Polaroids, the Board, and Circles

Sifting through some images that were shown to me on Timehop, I came across the accompanying pictures. They are from 2011 whenever I first started working on the board, and long before the greater idea was known.

It was a time whenever the board was separate from the idea of circles. It was also a time when I didn't know what circles were all about. The images show a certain naivety about the form. As I recall this was from he last set of Polaroids that I took from The Impossible Project. It was an end of a season in my life. 

The images have been added to their chronological spce in the board section of this website.

Late Night Songwriting

Tonight, I'm trying to recreate something from a few weeks ago. Same lighting, same screens, and same seating. My time here in this place is coming to a close; I'll be leaving Deerbrook Gardens. I want to make sure I use this time wisely.

Writing has changed a lot for me over the past few months. I used the board to formulate ideas for so long, that I forgot the roots of this craft: The midnight hours, the drifting thoughts, the spontaneity of melody--I forgot about this. 

As of late, I've been dealing with thoughts quickly & momentously whenever it comes to milling them into song. Previously, songs would be a hollow void of melody that would be constructed, and then filled with thought and lyric. Tonight, I produced lyric, melody, and feeling all at once. Making decisions on the fly. It takes times. One has to sit, and give themselves to the process of writing.

I stopped using drugs over a year ago, and I was very interested in how my art would change because of this. I'm starting to see those differences now.

Whenever you stand in one place, it's hard to understand what it's like to be in another. Whenever I was writing Bulbs I had no idea what I was going to write about next, or even what it would even sound like. Even further, the music that I began to write immediately following Bulbs has somewhat ceased, or at least, taken back seat to these quickly ejected conclusions of my currents thoughts.  

At this point, I'm closer to a new original record than not. I speaks a bit more to the thought of never know what you're going to write about. I thought I had something going, and in reality, something completely different happened. I guess that's a regular part of life. 

 

New Structure & Purpose

Tonight I had my last practice with SAVERCOOL for a while. This year has been very tell for me in what it is I'm doing as a musician and as an artist. With the past few performances with my set, Savercool, and Deondra's set, I've come to know what it is I want and don't want: what is important to me and what's not.

I don't want to play music for people who aren't interested in hearing me. Pretty straight forward idea really. I've played about three or four shows this year where people were genuinely uninterested in the performance (which is to be expected), but what's the point in that? What is the purpose. Why would you waste your time "casting your pearls".

I want to write again, and focus my thoughts and artistic drive towards my craft. I don't feel like I've been able to give myself to that because I'm stretched so thin. Ten years ago when I first wrote "Flamingo Fandango", I had a lot of time to refine that music. I had a lot of spare time to concentrate on recording, and words, and research, and meditating on melodies that my heart was singing. I had more time to give to my instrument in practice. The more I adult, the more I have less time to do the things I love. Not to mention, it's difficult to do your own music whenever you've just spent two hours rehearsing for someone else's project.

I want to continue with the church. That is ultimately the most fulfilling play time I have as a musician. I've met with the Lord with music on many occasion in private, and to meet him like that in a corporate environment is where I find a true purpose; it's something divine. I feel like I've been lying to myself by saying that I want to chase this dream of musical pop star. When I was a child, I wanted that--and a part of me still does--but a bigger part of me want to seek a greater communion with Jesus and the God of the Bible. It's an honor to be a musician in the house of the Lord, and I don't want to take it lightly anymore. I don't want to pretend that it's not the high light of my week. To sing songs of reverence and praise to the Great Architect of the Universe, Jehovah God, and enlist the people in the room with you to join in is chorus is a high calling in my opinion. 

In 1998 the church began grooming me musically, for this time of my life. This time I'm going to pursue the path that I was destined to fulfill. 

I may play a gig here and there, and I'm definitely going to continue writing and recording music, but now it's standing up for what I believe in: Identifying with my Christian heritage and upbringing. 

I started writing this entry because I have had a strange shift in the visual context in which I see myself artistically. The following images show the iconography that is above my piano in my writing place. Like always, this space has somewhat organically arranged itself. Also, Like always, I can see a narrative developing: a theme. This is a bit outside of the realm of the board but in this intangible existence these images exist in the same place. It almost beg to give a different title to the board.

This has always been a sacred place for me. 

A digital recreation

Love Songs and the Like

My perspective of music changes with every passing year. The older I get the more my understanding of this gift grows deeper: elaborating on the unseen realm that the music exists in.

My latest thoughts today are about Love Songs, and songs that specify a commentary about, or that conversation towards another human. Whether in love or admiration, I'm beginning to find love songs some what of a waste. 

Maybe it's because I've never really been in love. I've definitely written songs that were for or towards certain people that I care about, but in this season of writing I'm coming to find this practice a waste. 

Almost Idolatrous...

I should go ahead and say it that my music has been God centered in subject matter since I got serious about writing in 2007. I've also been engaged in playing for the church for almost 5 years now. Music has become a tool for me--used to pay homage, and show reverence. Sure, I am still entertained by music, but it's greater purpose, is in an evocation or a worship setting.

So whenever I hear these really good songs that are about someone's lover, I have to ask myself,

"Do you feel that greatly about this person that you would give them such a masterpiece?" 

"Is this person really worthy of receiving this great piece?"

"Is there even a person behind these lyrics and emotions, or is it just a scarecrow that 's used to prop up a good melody and hook?"

I believe the worship setting alleviates these types of questions, but I don't think that every song has to be about God or Jesus to be considered good or relevant, but I guess as the years go by I'm more interested in what's important, eternal, and intangible. 

Love Songs--and the like--seem to just be a frivolous waste. 

<ramble ramble ramble>