It was the summer between my fourth and fifth grade year whenever my act of worship began. I thought I was listening to two boys and some girls singing a song about being someone’s lover. I passed it off because at the time I was still deep into one woman’s literary devices.
Like most people when discovering god, I knew where I was when I was first touched by their graces. “I’m giving you everything, all that joy can bring, this I swear. And all that I want from you is a promise you will be there.” It was an alter call to begin all alter calls; I responded.
My contribution to their gospel was small at first, but over time snowballed from one cassette single to the album, cassette singles and CD singles, posters and dolls, and of course the movie. I identified myself through them; I became their representative and part of the church of SPICE.
Just when the magic seemed to be at its peak the power of my god would soon be crucified. I was sitting in the back seat of my sister’s car coming up on the last bend before Highway 182 on Red Cypress Road when I heard the news that made me sink in my seat. We were listening to 104.1 when the radio was turned up and my sister got quiet. I felt like they were just waiting for me to respond when I heard the news that Geri had quit the group. She was not my favorite of the girls, but one of the girls none the less. My heart filled with sadness as I had to quickly come to terms with the fact that my god had died before my very ears. The light was warm on my neck that day in the setting sun.
My god had died, but what is the death of a god without a proper resurrection. In 2007 I had heard that they had returned. They were reclaiming the power and reign over the world that they once had, as though to fulfill a prophecy long since forgotten. I couldn’t have been happier. The most exciting thing about it was that there would be a world tour. I was a lowly grocery store clerk at the time, so realistically I knew that I could never afford to go see my gods in person, but I had the overwhelming hope and faith that they would fulfill my hope, and that hope was that there would be a recording of the show. It would be a testament to their return: proof that I was not a liar and that they would prevail in the end.
However, when it came to the end of it, like it did before, they failed me again. One would say that it doesn’t really matter or that they weren’t that good of a band to start with; that may be true, but It wasn’t about the music or the show, the dancers or the costumes; this was about my childhood. This was about the devotion, worship, adoration, gospel spreading effort, and girl power that I invested MY LIFE in. This is about the fact that I’m still hung up on the five girls from England that came into my life as a child and broke my heart so bad that I feel it necessary to write a blog about it over ten years later that barley anyone will care to read.
I don’t understand: it was a multi-million dollar concert that sold out everywhere it went. Why was it not even considered that there would be a DVD release? I don’t understand why they did not release the footage that was shot, or why they have continually lied about there not being any footage--even after it was leaked onto the web & Geri Halliwell spoke about it.
Good Job girls! You’ve left me hanging again.
