A promise was given to me long ago: the leaves will fall. With the first cool days of Autumn upon me, I'm reminded of the longing of my heart. Not to be confused with the longing that I have for nameless; this is something that predates him, but is not completely separate from him. Last year around this time, I was dealing with having to live alone for the first time in my life. Nameless; became my fill in the void of my alone-ness. He became my solidarity, and was my strength in my mildly-suicidal mind; he kept me warm through the cold December from which cold winds blow.
Now, I'm facing the same alone-ness & anxiety that I had experienced before, but this time there is a missing element: him.
However, the decree of latter year equinox offers the promise that the thing that grew in the heat of this past Summer will die, and the leaves will fall. There is a foreshadowing of a new hope to come in the Spring, but in the mean time I am braced for colder winds.
